Biting my Tongue

For the past few months Easton and I have been going to a baby play group every Tuesday afternoon. The program is a drop-in play time for babies 0-1 that’s run by our local school district’s Early Childhood program. There are a handful of moms and babies that are there each week but there are also typically 2-3 new moms each time. We all sit around and chat while we play with our babies in a big room filled with toys. I’m not usually one for situations that require forced conversation with strangers (I’m so not an extrovert) but it’s pretty relaxed and low-key and there are usually only 4-6 moms at a time so I kind of like it.

Yesterday’s session was a little different. There were 11 moms with babies in the room this time, which was the biggest group I’ve seen so far. At any given time there were at least 4 different conversations going at once. I spent some of the time talking with the two moms that are there every week and chatted with some new faces but, as usual, much of the time was spent wrangling Easton. While I was occupied with him, I happened to overhear a few moms near me talking about getting their kids to sleep and the conversation made my blood boil.

Now, I’m clearly no expert on getting babies to sleep. Far from it, in fact. My 10 month old has not slept a stretch over 3 hours in the past 8 months and still has never spent an entire night in his crib. But I have some very strong opinions when it comes to parenting. I know how I want to care for my child (when it comes to most topics, there are still some that I’m unsure of) and while I truly don’t judge other moms for having different ideas, I get irritated when I hear them put down my style of parenting.

Back to those two moms. One woman said that her 5 month old son still doesn’t fall asleep on his own and she’s trying to start sleep training. Mom #2, who had a 6 month old, went on to tell her exactly how she should go about that in a way that implied that her way was the only “right” way. She told Mom #1 that she had implemented the program when her son was 3-4 months old and he became a good sleeper almost right away. She instructed her to put the baby down in his crib and leave him to cry… for up to an hour. The second day, she was to put him down and let him cry… for up to TWO hours.

Now I’m the first to admit I do not like the cry it out method at all. That being said, I know that it works well for some moms to put their babies down and let them cry for increasingly longer periods. However, I have NEVER heard someone suggest leaving their baby, at just 3 months old, to cry alone in his crib for 2 hours. Ugh.

I’m not one to jump into conversations and offer my opinions when they aren’t asked, so I didn’t. But boy did I want to. I just couldn’t fathom giving out that kind of advice and then criticizing mothers who choose not to let their babies cry it out. Maybe using that technique would be the solution to getting to sleep for more than 3 hours at a time, but there’s no way I could listen to Easton’s heartbreaking cries and do nothing for so long. Maybe I’m crazy, but I think I’ll stick with bags under my eyes for now.

This and That

- I did a mini overhaul of my blog last night including changing its name! My old name was always intended to be a place holder until I came up with something I wanted to be more permanent. My little home on the web is now  called Imperfect and Unpredictable. I think that describes my life as a SAHM as well as anything could! I also added a new banner and pictures. It’s nothing too fancy but it’s a definite step up from what I had slopped together months ago.

- Thanksgiving is in 9 days and we are still working on solidifying our plans for the holiday. This is one of the times that having divorced parents really sucks. This year it’s my in-laws’ turn to have Thanksgiving on the actual day so we’ll be at my SIL’s house on Thursday. That means we have to find time to see both of my parents individually on Friday. I wanted to go to my extended family’s gathering too but that’s scheduled for Saturday and that’s just too much driving and socializing for Easton. I’m a little bummed that we’re going to have to skip it but 4 Thanksgivings is crazy anyway.

- Easton has been spending the majority of the night co-sleeping with us since he was born. I loved having him in bed with us but I realized last week that it was time to end that. Easton has never been a good sleeper but now he started waking half a dozen times a night and crawling  all over me. I can’t even tell you how many times I’ve woken up to his butt in my face as he leans over me to slap Joe in the face (you can imagine how much Joe loves that wake up). So starting on Sunday we started working on keeping him in his room all night. The first night wasn’t too bad but last night was BRUTAL. He woke up at 9:30, 11:30, and 1:30 and it took me about 15-20 minutes each time to get him back down. Then he was up at 3:30 for 45 minutes! Every time I thought he was asleep I would get back in bed only to have him pop up again. Joe finally got him down for me at 4:15 but then he was up again at 5:30 and never went back to sleep. I know it’s one of those things that’s going to take time before it gets better but I do NOT want any more nights like that one!

- I’ve always been terrible about getting my Christmas shopping done early. I tend to be the one in the store on December 23rd rushing to get my last few gifts. This year we’ve already ordered a few gifts and have ideas for many more. I just need to come up with a good idea for my husband now… I can think of a million little things he would like but I always struggle to find something really special for him. I’m hoping something awesome will come to me soon!

The World’s Worst Napper

My little guy will be 9 months old next week. Easton is a very happy baby most of the time and he’s truly a joy. He does so well in public, nurses well, eats (relatively) well and even entertains himself well. Family and friends always comment on how spoiled we are to have such a good baby. I smile and nod, secretly thinking they have no idea.

Easton is a good baby, I’m not denying that one bit. But we are definitely not blessed with a perfect baby that gives us no trouble. Our little guy simply saves most of his “bad” behaviors for naps and nighttime.

Getting Easton to go to sleep and stay asleep is truly a nightmare. He did wonderfully for his first 2 months of life but then it’s like a switch flipped and he suddenly became the King of the One Sleep Cycle. For the next 6 months I spent an average of 30 minutes (but occasionally as much as an hour) trying to get E down for each nap. He would scream and cry while I would pull my hair out and contemplate taking up drinking. Finally, he would fall asleep and I would creep out of the room, ready to finally have some peace and quiet. But, like clockwork, he would be up again ready to get up 40 minutes later. Every single time.

A few weeks ago, something changed and Easton finally started regularly napping for an hour twice a day. I know that’s still a short nap for some, but for me it was like I suddenly got to go on vacation twice a day. It was amazing! Not only was he sleeping longer but he was even falling asleep in under 5 minutes in his crib (with me patting his back).

But a week later, just when I started to get used to this new normal, he switched it up again and is now as bad as ever. I still get one “long” nap a day but we’re back to screaming, crying and pitching a fit for every nap. Even worse, he now wants to try out his newest skill of pulling up every time I put him in the crib. It is beyond frustrating.

We have such great days together when Easton is awake and happy, but this napping thing really puts me in a bad mood some days. I feel like I have this mothering thing down fairly well in most other respects but I feel like an utter failure at getting my kid to sleep (and if you’re wondering.. NO, he’s not a good night sleeper either).

I’m praying this is just a phase that he will grow out of soon but part of me still has visions of fighting my screaming 16 year old over bedtime one day.