Friday, October 19, 2012

Bittersweet Milestones

If there’s one thing I’ve learned in my 9 months as a mom it’s that parenting is full of bittersweet moments. Each time my little guy hits new milestones I smile and cheer and take pictures and call/text everyone to share the good news. But then when the moment passes, I sigh. I shake my head and sometimes even tear up wondering how my baby is already big enough to (fill in the blank). In the past 9 months it’s already happened so many times.

When Easton was born I was delighted that my baby was FINALLY here. But I also mourned the end of my first pregnancy. The end of carrying my boy with me everywhere and feeling his sweet kicks all day long.

I was so excited when he rolled over for the first time. But I was sad that the helpless little newborn I had brought home from the hospital was no longer so helpless.

When Easton outgrew his newborn clothes and was able to fit in the next size up I couldn’t wait to dress him in all of the adorable outfits waiting in his closet. But I cried as I packed up his smallest pajamas and knew he would never wear them again.

At 4.5 months old Easton started sitting on his own. I realized it was so much easier to engage him and play with him when he didn’t need to be laying on the floor or held. But he was starting to need me just a little bit less and that made me sad.

Then he started crawling. And then he started crawling FAST. I loved watching him realize that he could move on his own. He was able to get to his toys on his own and entertain himself more which gave me a little more freedom. But that also meant he didn’t need to be carried as much and he didn’t need my help as often. He could play at my feet but he could also crawl away from me and go somewhere else.

It’s hard to watch my baby get older but at the same it’s very exciting. I know this is only the beginning of bittersweet milestones. One day I’ll have mixed emotions when he  first goes to kindergarten, when he plays his first T-ball game, gets braces, learns to drive a car, or (gulp) gets his first girlfriend. I’ll do my best to focus on the happy side of Easton’s milestones, but I know it won’t always be easy. I guess that’s just what parenting is about.

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